Infant Who Lost Her Young Mother Inspires Buffalo Wild Wings Fundraiser

Melissa O’Conner was a mommy for only 35 days. Sunday would have been her first Mother’s Day.

Her family will gather that day at Windridge Cemetery and Nature Sanctuary in Cary where a ceremony will be held for all the moms resting in the picturesque cemetery. White doves will be released in their memory.

Melissa’s daughter, two-month-old ShilaRae Elise O’Connor-Arreola, will be there. ShilaRae was the apple of her 21-year-old mother’s eye.

“Those 35 days she was a mom were probably the best days of her life,” Melissa’s mom, Diane O’Connor said. “When she found out she was pregnant, I’d never seen her more peaceful in her life. She was just so in tune with everything in those nine months. She was just so ecstatic to be a mother.”

Melissa died on March 20 of a pulmonary embolism.

What is helping Melissa’s family through their grief is little ShilaRae. The baby has brought family, extended famiy and friends together to honor Melissa's memory. One of Melissa’s hopes was that ShilaRae go to college someday.

The ShilaRae O'Connor-Arreola fundraiser in memory of Melissa O'Connor will be held at Buffalo Wild Wings on May 17 benefiting the baby's college fund. Buffalo Wild Wings will donate 15 percent of food sales from three locations, Algonquin, Crystal Lake and Hoffman Estates, toward the fund. Anyone dining there that day needs to print out this coupon.

Melissa worked at the Algonquin location where everyone was like family. Her co-workers are also grieving and wanted to do something for ShilaRae. Diane O’Connor is touched by their efforts. “Everyone is trying to find their way to help,” she said.

“We’d like to make it as successful as possible for the baby,” O’Connor said. “Melissa would want nothing more than her daughter to go to college.”

A happy pregnancy 

Melisa had a healthy pregnancy and a problem-free delivery.

O’Connor and her husband were there in the delivery room with her fiancé, Pablo Arreola, when ShilaRae was born on Valentine’s Day. There were no signs of any complications during the birth. Everything was fine post-pregnancy.

A month later, Melissa and her family celebrated their favorite holiday, St. Patrick’s Day, together. O’Connor remembers that day. It was the last day the family was together. A photo on her Facebook page shows a happy, carefree family.

Melissa was tired but never complained, her mom said. “She was so in love with that baby. She just kept staring at her the whole time,” O’Connor said.

Days later, Melissa was home with the baby. She was still on maternity leave from her job at Buffalo Wild Wings in Algonquin. She began having difficulty breathing.

She called her fiance who rushed home from his job as a Cary Junior High School gym teacher. He called an ambulance, which took Melisa to Good Shepherd Hospital in Barrington.

Doctors and nurses worked on Melissa for two hours. She died in the emergency room. The cause of death was a pulmonary embolism, O’Connor said.

It was a sudden, devastating loss, she said.

Life without Melissa

ShilaRae lives with her father in Cary. O’Connor and her family take care of the baby a few nights a week and have her all day on Sundays. There is a nursery in their home. ShilaRae’s extended families have come together to fill the whole in her life as much as possible, O’Connor said.

Melissa’s family had their first Easter without her. There was also O’Connor’s first birthday without her. Pablo also had a birthday. “We are getting hit pretty hard, pretty fast with the events,” O’Connor said.

Mother’s Day will be another day the family must get through.

“It’s too much,” O’Connor said, her voice trailing off. “I have to get strong and be able to do this. I have five other children looking at me asking are we going to be ok.”

She finds strength in her granddaughter. Diane O’Connor sees her own little girl in the baby’s smile and her demeanor. Even her nose is a replica of Melissa’s.

“She is so peaceful like her mother,” O’Connor said. “I’m not saying this because I’m her grandmother. I call it how I see it. She is so happy. She can just look at you and be completely content. She’s a mini Melissa.”

Community support

The O’Connors, of Algonquin, are well known in town and are very social. All the children, ranging in age from 19 to 5 years old, have gone or are going to Algonquin schools and Melissa was a graduate of Jacobs High School.

The day Melissa died, the family had 40 to 50 people brining food to the house and offering to help with the kids or do simple tasks like feed the dog, she said.

“It was amazing,” O’Connor said of the support. “I can’t imagine how we’d do it without that support.”

The support continues with the Buffalo Wild Winds Challenge on May 17.